


Contemplation and Caffè Macchiatos

by SeiyaTraumaSquad



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: :'), Angst, F/F, F/M, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, Tanaka Ryuunosuke (mentioned) - Freeform, Tsukishima Kei (mentioned), Unresolved Angst, Yamaguchi Tadashi (mentioned) - Freeform, You Have Been Warned, also former mentioned yamayachi, and mentioned tsukkiyama, haikyuu 379 spoilers, pls don't read this if you like tanakiyo bc you will not enjoy this, this is a kiyoyachi fic but tanakiyo is the end ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeiyaTraumaSquad/pseuds/SeiyaTraumaSquad
Summary: The feelings I can't say impart painI suddenly rest my chin in my hands. Who is this lonesome person?When I close my eyes, unnoticed by othersThose arms slip around me for a moment, butTomorrow and this love could both be called liesAh, embrace me by the window with the sunset glow beginning to burnAh, don't touch my heart adorned in bluffs, but even so, kiss me＊＊＊A bittersweet reunion after graduation leaves Hitoka with things she can't bear to say and Kiyoko with things she can't bear to hear.
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko & Yachi Hitoka, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Contemplation and Caffè Macchiatos

Hitoka tapped her feet on the ground anxiously as she waited, two steaming hot coffees sitting beside her on the wooden bench. She probably should have waited for Kiyoko to arrive so they could get the drinks together, but they hadn't seen each other in so long, and Hitoka had a meeting later, so she didn't want to waste any of the brief time they had together.

"Hitoka-chan!" Kiyoko waved as she approached, grinning brightly. Hitoka's breath caught in her throat at the sight of her, and she almost forgot to wave back. Kiyoko was just as gorgeous as the last time Hitoka had seen her; gosh, had it really been over a year ago? Her hair was now cut into a bob, slightly shorter than in high school, and she had switched her glasses out for contacts. When had these slight changes happened? 

Before Hitoka could overthink, Kiyoko was suddenly in front of her. Hitoka sprang to her feet, and Kiyoko wrapped her arms around her in greeting. Hitoka inhaled the scent of her perfume, a clean, floral scent that was sweet but not overpowering.

"It's so good to see you!" Kiyoko exclaimed, pulling back to examine Hitoka. "You look wonderful! How have you been?"

"You too! Look wonderful, that is. I, uh-" Hitoka's tongue tripped over itself, and she mentally kicked herself. Kiyoko giggled, but she didn't comment on Hitoka's awkwardness.

"Are you growing your hair out? It looks cute!" Kiyoko grazed her fingertips over Hitoka's short ponytail, and Hitoka's heart skipped a beat.

"Th-thank you!" Blushing, Hitoka grabbed the coffees and handed one to Kiyoko. "I bought you a drink! I wasn't sure what you'd want, so I got a caffe macchiato...I'm not used to drinking coffee, but it looked good in the picture, so..." She fumbled, dropping her eyes to the ground. Kiyoko took the drink and sipped it.

"Mmm, it's good! I was thinking about getting a hot drink, since it's getting chilly out. Thank you," she said, smiling gratefully.

Relieved, Hitoka sat back down on the bench where she had been waiting, and Kiyoko took a seat beside her. 

"Ah, it's been too long. I can't believe we haven't gotten together sooner." Kiyoko sighed. "You're still in college, right? Do you have any plans after graduation?

"I'll be starting work at an ad design company in Tokyo next year! I'm so lucky that my mom has so many connections. It would've been tough to get a job so soon otherwise," Hitoka explained. "What about you? The last time we talked, you were still looking for a job." 

Although they had kept in touch after Kiyoko's graduation, their busy schedules had kept their interaction to a minimum. Hitoka knew almost nothing about Kiyoko's life now; although Kiyoko always liked Hitoka's instagram posts when she shared a new design, Kiyoko almost never updated her own account.

"I work at a sports shop now! It's funny, even though I've been involved in sports since middle school, I never imagined it becoming a career. But I really like it!"

"That's so cool! If your shop ever needs any new ads, let me know! I'd be happy to help out, Shimizu-senpai."

Kiyoko smiled. "Will do. And I already told you, you don't have to call me senpai anymore! Kiyoko is fine."

Hitoka's heart melted. "R-right...Kiyoko-chan." The name felt unusual on Hitoka's tongue, but she didn't dislike it.

They were quiet for a moment, sipping their drinks.

"So, Hitoka-chan, how are you and Yamaguchi-kun doing? Are you still together?"

Hitoka nearly choked on her drink, a deep blush rising to her cheeks.

"Oh. Um. We broke up, actually."

"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that," Kiyoko said, her voice tinged with sympathy.

"No, it's okay. We weren't really right for each other; I kind of just said yes when he asked me out because I would've felt bad turning him down. We're still friends, of course! He's dating Tsukishima-kun now, and they seem really happy together."

Hitoka was aware that she was rambling, but she didn't seem to be able to stop as anxiety rose from her stomach like bile. Though the new topic was an opportunity to bring up something that she had been determined to tell Kiyoko at long last, she didn't know how to get the words out.

"Um, actually, Shi- Kiyoko-chan, I wanted to talk to you about something..." Hitoka's heart felt like it was either jumping up her throat or sinking to her stomach, and she took a sip of coffee to hide her nervousness.

"Oh? What is it?" Kiyoko asked, curious. As she spoke, she tucked her hair behind her ear, and it was then that Hitoka saw it gleaming on her finger—an engagement ring.

"W-wait, Shimizu-senpai, are you getting married?!" Hitoka exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat in shock.

Kiyoko glanced at the ring, as though suddenly remembering it was there.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? I must have forgotten!" She flushed, embarrassed.

"No, I didn't even know you were dating someone!"

"Ah, yeah. I'm actually dating Ryuunosuke. We haven't been going out long, but when he proposed...I said yes."

"Ryuu...oh! Tanaka-senpai?!" Hitoka's voice was nearly a shriek. Kiyoko laughed sheepishly.

"The one and only."

"But...but how? I always thought you weren't interested in him."

"So did I, but...things change," Kiyoko replied, staring down at the ring with an almost wistful expression. "To tell the truth, I mostly just went out with him because we ran into each other while I was job hunting, and I was really lonely out in the city. But you know...I'm always the happiest when I remember being the manager of Karasuno's volleyball club, and I guess I just wanted to hold on to that."

"I...see..." Hitoka said, a lump forming in her throat. The words she had finally geared herself up to say, the words that had been burning her up from the inside since high school, died before they could leave her lips. Kiyoko was engaged now. Hitoka could never tell her how she made her heart flutter, how Hitoka's feelings went beyond admiration and friendship, how Hitoka had pined for her for so many years and didn't, couldn't, confess her feelings, knowing that Kiyoko was out of her league. And now she was betrothed to someone else, and Hitoka's love would stay locked in her heart forever. She had stood by Kiyoko's side so many times, the words on the tip of her tongue. She had always swallowed them back, devoted to a trivial vow of silence. While she had previously thought of those moments as necessary sacrifices, they now seemed more like missed chances. 

She swallowed, fighting to hold back the tears that were starting to fill her eyes.

"C-congratulations! That's wonderful."

"Thank you, Hitoka-chan. I'm glad you pointed it out, though, because I've been meaning to ask you...will you be my maid of honor?"

With that, the dam broke, and hot tears spilled over Hitoka's cheeks.

"Hitoka-chan?!" Kiyoko asked, eyes wide with alarm.

"Sorry! I'm just, I'm just so happy! Of course I'll do it!" She hastily scrubbed at her face, willing herself to stop crying. Luckily, Kiyoko didn't press her.

"Great! I'll be in touch with you when we have more details about the wedding."

Hitoka found herself nodding, but she no longer felt like she was the one controlling her body.

"Right. Well. Ah, my meeting is starting soon. It was good to see you again!" Hitoka stood, gathering her coat and purse, gulping down the last of her coffee and wincing as it burned her tongue.

"Oh, okay. It was good to see you, too!" 

Hitoka tossed a small wave over her shoulder and hurried off, leaving Kiyoko behind with her coffee.

Kiyoko's heart sank as she watched Yachi's blonde ponytail bouncing away from her. She dropped her gaze to her engagement ring, unable to force her lips into a smile. She wondered, not for the first time, if she was doing the right thing, but, she reminded herself, Tanaka loved her, and he could support her, and it was what her parents wanted. This was the path she had chosen, and she had long since lost the chance to make a different choice. By the time she realized that her friendship with Hitoka was more like a crush, it was too late. Hitoka and Yamaguchi were dating, and Tanaka had asked her out, so she put her feelings high on a shelf and never dared to ask what they might grow into. And even if she hadn't, she doubted they ever could have, or would have, dated. After all, she could never work up the courage to tell Hitoka she liked her.

Resting her chin in her hand, she closed her eyes and let her mind drift back to Hitoka's arms sweetly wrapping around her. She wanted to hold her there and never let her go. But her heart was adorned in bluffs, and she didn't think she could stand to let Hitoka touch it.

She shook her head and opened her eyes.

_I'll be happy with him_ , she reminded herself.

_Or am I just looking for an excuse to hold on to those days?_

She stared down into her cooled-down macchiato, watching as the milk foam slowly sank into the coffee and disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew I can't believe the first HQ fic I've posted is a one-shot angst song fic....but what is fanfic for if not coping with canon 😤  
> As you can probably tell, I'm not thrilled with some of the events of the manga, but kiyoyachi will always be soulmates in my heart


End file.
